No one around. Nothing to see. Nowhere to run to. I’m just here with me.
Sitting still in my dreams.
Staring straight at my demons.
Studying the difference between this moment and that memory. Scrubbing the dirt off what could’ve been and what should’ve been.
Suffocating under the weight of unused ambition. Sinking into the comfortable corners of safe, and sound, and stationary. Unmoved and unmoving. Unchained yet unchanging.
Stranded on this island of insecurity. Shipwrecked on the shores of what’s “supposed to be.”
Battered by waves of self-doubt. Burned by the sting of self-suspicion… Beaten by my own hands.
But not broken.
Tonight, I’m piecing myself together on the center stage of this empty room.
Cleaning up the bad parts and wiping off the hurt marks, abandoning the acts that don’t let me tell MY story.
Opening the curtain to everything, and anything, that scares me… Shifting the spotlight from where I am, and shining it on where I want to be.
Rising from the sores of my pain and running toward the roars of my passion.
Promising that next time will be different… That THIS time will be different. That I’ll silence the voices that poison my choices, and speak only with words that believe.
Everyone I want is outside these halls, but everything I need is inside my walls. Tonight.. I’m opening up to me.
Bare and honest and ugly. Naked for myself to see.
So much to run to.
But this time it’s for me.