Next time I’ll be better.
I’ll do different things.
And do things differently.
And make sure that my fractured mind doesn’t get in the way of my fragile heart.
I won’t think so much that I can’t feel anything.
Or talk so long that I forget why we started.
I’ll let every emotion sink in before I spit it out.
I’ll be still.

I’ll fight back against my fears.
And not be so scared to touch your sharpest edges.
Or let you touch mine.
I won’t be afraid to fall into the undiscovered hands of untamed love.
I’ll be more open with my words.
And more honest with my worries.
I’ll be outspoken about what’s broken and upfront about what’s blind.
I’ll be brave.

I’ll recognize my insecurities.
And question their motives.
And then retrace their steps.
Find out exactly where they came from.
Beat down the doors of that brick-thick house.
Strip off all my heavy armor.
Pull up two uncomfortable chairs.
And then invite you in…
So you can see me.
The real me.

I’ll stop asking you to change.
And stop hiding criticism inside well-articulated sentences.
And then pretending it’s polite.
Or chivalrous.
Or thoughtful.
Or that it’s for your own good.
And just admit that I like it when you do something’s another way.
My way.
But I’ll accept your way.
Because your way looks better on you.
Your way is beautiful.

I won’t wait so long to ask the right questions.
And won’t take my time saying the right things.
I’ll set free every special sentiment.
Release every subtle thought.
Unravel every silent knot.
Unwind everything that spins inside my stomach so it can spiral out into you.
I’ll unload the truth before every argument.
And tuck it nicely beneath your pillow.
So you can sleep easy.
So you’ll stay.

I’ll open my eyes when you’re not there.
And close them when you’re close.
And memorize every moment.
And savor every sound.
I’ll trace your lips with my fingers.
And kiss the tops of your eyes.
I’ll hear you breathe.
I’ll listen.

I’ll put you first.
And last.
And every space in between.
I’ll understand where you need to be and build a sailboat to take you there.
While I cross my oceans.
And chase my seas.
I’ll make sure we explore together.
I’ll make sure I’m always with you.
And you’re always there.
With me.

Next time…
After I’ve paid my price.
After I’ve learned, and burned, and grown.
After life has taught me what I ought to, and got to, and need to know.
I hope I fall in love again.
A different me.

With the same you.

#besomebody.

Kash.

 

Spark with Kash on the #besomebody iPhone app. Besomebody is an Experiential Learning Marketplace where you can teach or learn anything you’re passionate about by booking Experiences with people around you. Download it for free in the App Store. It’s time to live your passion. http://appstore.com/besomebody

Shares
Share This