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I Don’t Love You…

I don’t love you with my eyes.  They’re too weak, and weary. They’ve watched too much. Followed too many. They are stained, and strained, and frozen. Fixed on the physical. Reckless and uncommitted… Bloodshot. They look, but they don’t see.

I don’t love you with my mind. It wonders, and wanders. Spins in circles. Moves back and forth between yes, no, and maybe…  It reasons too much. Asks too many damn questions. Interrogates. Judges… It tries to put you, and place you, and peg you. Shove you into a makeshift box. It tells me to stop. Be smart. Think through… Shut down.

I don’t love you with my body. It soaks in your skin. It swerves with your lines and stumbles with your curves. It makes love to your angles… Stares at your shape… Magnetic and mystified. It’s here, and now, and ready… But it’s not lasting.  It’s not familiar with Fate and never been friends with Forever.  It feels, but it doesn’t finish.

I don’t love you with my heart. It’s big, but battered. It’s pure, but pained… It’s honest, and open, and hopeful, and true…. It wants. And needs. And longs… But it’s too soft to hold onto these edges. It’s too hard to cushion every fall. Too naive to notice the necessary. Too old to forget the scars…. It cries too much.

I love you with my soul.

My indefinable, undeniable, unmistakable soul… free and flowing … Motion meets Emotion…. Beyond the clutches of doubt, and above the fingers of fear. Deep but not hidden. Strong but not heavy. Soaring and surging and stretching. Moving, yet still… Peaceful.  It lifts and comforts and carries. With no thought of distance. No concept of time. No borders or boundaries. Naked and hungry…. Courageous.

I love you with my Soul.

#besomebody.

Kash  $

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3 Things I Learned from the Greatest CPG Company on Earth

Today is my last day working at the greatest Consumer Products Goods company in the world.

I never imagined that selling soap would be so damn fun.

But it was… we made it cool. And big. And meaningful. And sexy. (Ok, sexy might be a stretch, but slightly flirtatious. ;) )

For nearly a decade, Procter & Gamble has been the single biggest influence and inspiration in my life. This is an amazing company.

It’s been a dream to work with some of the world’s best marketers, drive some of the world’s biggest ideas, and champion some of the world’s most important causes.

Personally, I had the opportunity to explore the entire planet. My work took me to nearly 40 countries across 5 continents. I got to share life-changing moments with incredible people… and discover myself in the process.

 

I am so grateful to P&G and the great P&G people for every lesson and every experience. It’s been a blessing that will stay with me for a lifetime.

This company taught me a lot of things. These 3 are the most important.

1. The Power of Purpose: We all have a personal calling… a special, specific mission. Once you realize this, everything else falls into place…. It invites you to wonder and wander… to quest and question… to dig deep into yourself and discover what you love… and WHY… Finding your Purpose is harder than it seems but easier than it sounds. If you block out the noise, you can hear your heart and listen to your gut… They tell you where to go. And when you find it, your journey really begins to take flight. Purpose brings focus to your life and becomes the filter for every decision. It shapes every choice and stamps every chance… #besomebody is the outward articulation of MY purpose, a spark that ignites passion and inspires courage… so we can live OUR best life.

 

2. Hidden Heroes: No matter how good we are or how great we do, there is NOTHING we accomplish alone.  Away from the spotlight and far from the microphone, there’s the faith of friends and silhouettes of strangers that power our path. A mix of managers, mentors, and magicians that lend a hand without leaving any fingerprints… A push in the back, a pull on the arm… a slap in the face. After every victory, we should remember and recognize the hidden heroes that made it possible. It keeps our feet on the ground while our heads are in the clouds…The road to greatness is lined with humbleness and humility.

 

3. We’re more similar than different. Over the past few years, I spent time in some of the world’s most expensive cities and extravagant places. I met some of the poorest people on earth, from the barrios of Mexico City to the barangay’s of Manila. And I learned, over and over again, that we are ALL much more alike than different.  We smile at the same things and swear by the same dreams… Laughter sounds the same in every language and Love doesn’t need a translator… Our tears all flow in the same direction… Once we recognize this, the world shrinks, and possibility expands. We have little to fear and less to hide. We can be real and right and true… Life gets a lot easier when we realize we’re all in this together.

 

Thanks again P&G. It’s been a great ride… Now, on to the next adventure.

#besomebody.

Kash  $

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12 Secrets for an Unforgettable 2012.

2011 seems like it lasted forever AND flew by… It moved fast because ambition and energy can’t wait… It was slow because emotion and appreciation take time… But whatever the speed, my 2011 was driven by purpose, passion, and PEOPLE… And for that I’m truly grateful. I’ve never learned as much in my entire life. Thank you all for being my teachers and tour guides, mentors and messengers…

Last year was all about exploration for me… discovery and recovery… life-changing experiences sewn and spliced with simple, stirring conversations…

Here are 12 secrets I learned along the way.

1. Sometimes we chase the wrong dreams. We search in the wrong bushes. We set fire to the wrong fields… We get mesmerized by the mirage and hypnotized by the hype… and when we’re up close, and personal, they lose their mystique… lose their Magic… But when we find ourselves face to face with faux pas, we can’t waste time regretting the run… Every Moment is precious. We just have to spin around, salute our mistake, and hit the road again… Harder. Everyday is an evolution.

2. There’s nothing as contagious as the energy of those around you. Energy is invisible, but packed with power. The power to propel you towards your dreams, or the power to anchor you to your defeats. The company you keep will dictate many of your choices and shape much of your circumstance. I’ve learned this over and over again… There are only two types of people in the world: those that lift you up, and those that bring you down. Go ALL IN with the first group.

3. YOU are your own worst enemy. There are only two things holding you back right now. And both live inside you… Fear and Insecurity. I promise you, they are the cause of nearly all of your problems. They’ve definitely been the cause of mine… They prevent us from living the life we want to live. Their talk is potent and poisonous… and they are relentless. They tell us we can never make it… that it’ll never happen… that we’re not good enough… They’re wrong… Learn to confront those two demons head on. Understand them. Empathize with them. Then beat the sh*t out of them. You are stronger than them both.

4. The hardest person to be honest with is yourself. We can disguise our feelings, hide behind fake smiles or false eyes… We can mislead strangers and fool friends. We can cheat loved ones. We can deceive ourselves… Live a life of lies for years… Lying to others is easy. Lying to ourselves is safe… We cover up the truth with excuses and explanations and justifications. We point fingers and place blame. Because it’s less painful than facing ourselves and telling it like it is – honest, sincere, real… with no bullshit. The truth is not always easy to look at. It’s not always pretty. But the truth is bigger than our anger and insecurity and fear and embarrassment and shame… The truth is huge. See it, speak it, be it

5. It takes more courage to close old doors than to open new ones. Walking away is often the bravest thing we can do.

6. The Universe talks… and listens… and remembers. Life has a sneaky way of making some decisions for us… of opening up the floodgates or throwing down the roadblocks, pushing us forward or shutting us down. No detour is accidental… No barrier misplaced… Even nothing is something. Every situation speaks if we listen to it… When we’re open to the signs and receptive to the signals, the Universe conspires to keep us on the right path. Live right. Stay positive. Do good…. And the Universe remembers.

7. Surround yourself with people that are better than you. People that are smarter and faster. Stronger… Compete against the best. Set the bar high, and just when it gets within arms reach… push it higher.We can’t improve if we’re winning all the time. Sometimes we gotta get our ass kicked.

8. Some people don’t make the cut in their own eyes. They end a relationship before it begins because they’re afraid they don’t measure up.. They don’t think they’re good enough… they feel unworthy… They’re paralyzed by Fear and handcuffed by Insecurity… So they abort… hit eject.. set fire to promise and put a match to possibility… burn all the evidence… They’d rather control failure than chance success… They’re so scared you won’t love them, because they don’t love themselves. And no amount of reassurance or reiteration can alter their stance or affect their view… Because their fight is internal, their deficiencies self-created… So they cast you off before you can cast them aside.. Even if it means losing something, someone, great… it’s tragic, but true… and those times, really.. Really… it’s not you… it’s them.

9. Happiness is a choice. You decide.

10. You are hungry. Don’t settle for scraps… in any relationship, personal or professional. It’s your hunt. You deserve the whole feast… the entire kill… You are NOT a hyena. And you damn sure ain’t a vulture… You’re a f*cking Lion.

 11. Love is worth it. There is no fair market value. No opportunity cost or compound interest. You can’t buy low and sell high. IPOs rarely come when we expect them. Emotion is never sold at list price. There are no guarantees… Hopefully it works out. But even if it doesn’t, if it was real, it was worth it. That’s all… Go for it.

12. Letting go will set you free.  We are too often prisoners of the Past. We’re held captive by our mistakes and failures, imprisoned by guilt and regret. Caged by what we can’t change… Letting go is one of the hardest but most empowering things we can do… This has been one of the most difficult things for me to learn and act on… Especially when it involves other people or relationships… I used to think that the act of ‘letting go’ was a moment in time. Like one day you just decide to do it, and it’s done… But I’m learning that letting go is an ongoing process. a daily ritual even… and, eventually, it becomes a way of life. Keeping the good, finding the positive, embracing the truth… and letting go of the rest. The past has handcuffed you to the floor long enough. It’s time to take the chains off…

Life is short. Our dreams are Big. And the clock is ticking… 2012. Let’s go.

#besomebody.

Kash  $

If this year's really our last, let's make sure it's our best... Cheers to 2012. #besomebody. $

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I wonder…

I wonder.

I wonder what will happen if I just do it. Take a chance. Make a move I wasn’t supposed to make. Hit when the book says to hold. Raise the stakes. Call my own bluff… and go all in…

If I step on the gas instead of slamming the brakes… Ditch the GPS and dropkick the tour guide. Make a hard left when the road turns right… Get my tires dirty… Forget the signals, and follow the Signs.

If I just went for it… Stopped over-thinking and over analyzing. Stopped over over-everything-ing. And go. If I took a hard look at Fear and said, ‘you know what, if I go down, I’m taking you with me. You piece of shit.’

If I told Maybe to get out of my face, wrapped my hands around Indecision’s neck, and locked Coulda, Woulda, and Shoulda in the closet with their hands bound, their feet tied, and their mouths duct taped to the floor… and torched the place.

If I stopped worrying about what other people may think… Or say.. Or do… Turn off all the talk, and just listen to that one Voice. The quiet one. The calm one. The one that’s deep and daring. The one that’s been whispering for years

If I confessed that refraining isn’t an option…  That not trying is a hate crime. That passing up potential is the worst form of punishment. That inaction is a life-sentence for doing nothing… That failures fade, but Regrets haunt forever…

If I believed that this one chance… the tiny possibility… the small, small promise of promise… of greatness… of Magic… was enough to pull me in.. and push me forward.. and carry me through…

If I just decide that she, and this, and it… ALL of it…  is just worth it… No matter what. Win or lose. Pleasure or pain. Happiness or hurt… If I let myself fall, without worrying about the shape of the surface below. Or the strength of the net…

If I said today’s the day.  Now or never. And finally… Finally…

Now wins.

 

#besomebody.

Kash  $

 

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Thanksgiving on an Airplane.

I spent Thanksgiving on an airplane. Soaring over the Atlantic… Surrounded by people but alone in my thoughts. Draped by endless skies, and guided by thoughtful stars.

There’s something about flying  that awakens your senses.. opens your heart. You picture what matters… Who matters.. See faces in the clouds…

Your conscience speaks up, and your fears calm down. And, as you float on top of the world, you realize you have so much to be thankful for…

I’m thankful for opportunity. Grateful for chance. For the ability and the appetite to go after whatever I want… choose my own adventure… listen to my gut… Surrender to my soul, and follow my heart… Most of the time, the only thing that holds us back is ourselves. We wrap chains around our own feet. We handcuff our happiness to the ground… We lock our dreams in the closest…. But, we also hold the key. All we have to do is turn it. And set ourselves free… and give ourselves the opportunity of our lifetime.

I’m thankful for failure. Blessed by mistakes.. For losing enough to keep me humble.. and hungry… We don’t learn much when we win.  But Failure is our greatest teacher. It points out our weaknesses, shines a light on our insecurities, and examines our flaws with a magnifying glass. It brings us face to face with our fears and challenges us to take a swing or get knocked the f*ck out… Failure reminds us that nothing worth anything is given to us… We need to earn it. Everyday.

I’m thankful for love. Touched by feeling. For finding and falling, living and losing. For the sacred sentiments that soothe my soul. For silent sentences and screaming stares.. For slow kisses and soft goodbyes.. For love that lasts even when the moment passes.. memories that linger.. For broken hearts that shatter into so many pieces you don’t know where to start cleaning up.. Or how to glue them back together.. But you do. You see the cracks, but after time, you don’t feel them… For having loved. And been loved. And wanting to love again.

And most of all, I’m thankful for people. For conversations with strangers. For shared cab rides. For spare change to feed the meter, and unexpected compliments to uplift the spirit. For family… Mom’s unreachable standards, unmatchable will, and unbreakable affection. Dad’s quiet strength, restrained wisdom, and belly-busting laugh. Brother’s that have transformed from roommate to rival, enemy to educator, confidant to counselor… Family that tells the same stories every year, that never get old…

I’m thankful.

 

Four hours till arrival. First Thanksgiving in flight. And very thankful for the opportunity, failures, love, and people that will greet me when I land.

 

#besomebody.

Kash $

 

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Tell Me A Story…

Tell me a story.

Spell out your secrets.

Talk to me slow… and soft… and Crazy.

Turn the pages of uncertainty.

Freeze the hands of time.

Let me stay in this Moment. Let me sit in this dream.

With you…

With You.

I don’t want to go. Too full to move. Too tired to leave.

Too broken to fix.

Keep me.

Shield me from the storm. Catch me from the fall.

I’ve seen everything. Witnessed it all. Watched up close.

Heard. Listened. Touched…

I know the texture. I recognize the sounds. I can make out the shapes from a distance.

I’ve walked the world. Discovered myself.

But I still don’t know…

I still don’t know.

Teach me.

Show me how.

I promise I can learn.

I can learn if you let me…

But start with a story…

And speak to my soul.

 

#besomebody.

Kash $

 

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I Close My Eyes And Write…

I close my eyes and write so that I can feel what I am feeling. So I can touch what I’m thinking. So I can put my finger on the truth, and turn my back on deception… So I can hold my heart in my hand, trace over its tears and smooth out its sorrows… unwrap its affection… and release what’s locked deep within its caves…

I see more clearly in the dark…

When my eyes are tucked beneath my mind, and I stare at my soul… inspect my spirit… Shut off my conscious to make way for the continuous… that constant flow of emotion that swells behind the walls of worry and the constraints of restraint.

I close my eyes and write so I can talk to myself. Debate with Decision and converse with Confusion… Argue with Anxiety… Ask myself the questions that I don’t want anyone else to hear… Admit the answers that are too ugly for the open… Tell the secrets I wouldn’t dare share in the light…

I close my eyes and write so I can imagine what I can’t conceive… Envision a future that’s too bold to be told… Dream a destiny that’s too big for words… Create an alternate Universe… tempt Fate… tease Fiction… Tell a story that Fantasy wouldn’t believe…

I close my eyes and write so I can awaken my other senses… those that are blinded by sight and blurred by stares. …the ones that shy from the stage, and shrink from The Moment….. I listen to Doubt and eavesdrop on Insecurity… I smell Fear… I put my hands around Impossible’s neck and beat the shit out of Regret… I taste temptation… but spit out the seeds… so I can find my way home…

I close my eyes and write to find YOU… to see your face in the darkness… to picture your smile… and lips…and neck… to touch you hair like the first time… to hold your hand and play with your fingers… to memorize your scent, and save it, for the silent nights… to apologize to your tears and make promises to your cries… and keep them. To tell you my bad dreams… say I’m scared… and beg you to stay… and mean it.

I close my eyes and write because it hurts, and heals… Because it captures and sets free… It let’s go, and lays to rest… It transforms never to Now… freezes the Moment… and time stands still… while I search… and wander… marvel at the mystery… and try to make sense of it all…

Until it’s time to write again.

#besomebody.

Kash $

 

 

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The Most Important Thing I Learned This Year.

I turned 32 years old last week.

Not sure how that happened. I’m loving my 30′s, but it seriously feels like time begins to move at warpspeed once you hit 27ish. I’m still trying to channel my inner Captain Kirk to keep up. :)

I shared the video below with my Facebook friends earlier this week, and wanted to extend the THANK YOU to all of you as well. This year has been one of the best of my life, and much of the reason has been the support, encouragement, and energy from our #besomebody community… Inspiring and pushing each other… picking each other up… calling each other out…

Together, we’re setting the bar high, and just when it gets within arm’s reach… we move it higher.

It’s that commitment to constant growth, daily discovery, and endless exploration that sets us apart. #Besomebody is a lifestyle, not a destination…

You’re here because you’re self-motivated. You have something inside you that’s asking for more… an avalanche of energy that wants to be unleashed.. passion that wants to be unchained.. a fuse, waiting to be lit…

I hope #besomebody can be one of the small sparks that ignites you toward the path you truly you want to take. One surrounded by people, guided by Purpose, and driven by dreams… and full of really, really great stories…

In the video I talk about the biggest thing I learned over the past year (as well as rolling around my bed with an overweight “roommate” lol :) … But mostly, I just want to say THANK YOU.

Let’s see how far we can go…

Life is short. Our Dreams are Big… and the clock is ticking.

#besomebody.

Kash $

 

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Discovering a Deeper Beauty.

Something’s are too beautiful to watch.

Too perfect for vision.

They’re too pure for eyes and too pristine for sight.

You have to experience them with all your senses. Taste their elegance and touch their charm… Hear their grace.

You have to soak in their sophistication and breathe in their brilliance.

FEEL.

Soak it in... and experience beauty with all your senses.

I spent a week in Prague and Budapest – two of Central Europe’s most precious jewels – and was dazzled. While my days were packed with work, I found some time in the evenings and weekend to explore… and instantly fell in love.

Prague surprised me. I had heard stories of its notorious nightlife, but its daytime beauty was what truly captivated me.

The cool, calmness of the streets… The allure and angles of the architecture… the romance of the bridges.. The whole city feels like a painting… and sounds like a symphony… violin and piano… A living work of art.

View from the Charles Bridge in Prague.

If Prague is a painting, Budapest is a sculpture… Hand-crafted, fine-tuned, and perfectly molded into a carving of contrasts that fit flawlessly together… the history and mystery of the “Buda” side, flanked by the energy and modernity of the “Pest” side, separated by the natural splendor of Europe’s 2nd largest river… There’s a symmetry and balance to the city that’s savored with every step.

It’s become one of my favorite places in the world.

The Danube at night is breathtaking, surrounded by shining cathedrals and shimmering bridges... A city of gold.

Both cities were absolutely, undeniably beautiful… In both form AND feeling…  And the imprint they left stayed with me… It made me question myself, and rethink my thinking…

If I could appreciate this depth of beauty in places, what about in People?

Unfortunately, when it comes to people, our perception of beauty too often swims on the surface. We cast a one-dimensional view on a multifaceted phenomenon.

At least, I have…

For most of my life, I’ve let my eyes tell the tale. Not out of shallowness or ignorance, but out of ease and immaturity… Sight speaks in seconds. Depth takes time… And guts.

I appreciated character and intellect and wit… but it’s always been more convenient to chase the shape… more exhilarating to seduce the shell… So I let that pursuit trump all others.

But Experience is evolving me…

The bridge to Beauty takes time... and guts. #besomebody.

There are beautiful women – beautiful people – everywhere, in every city, all around you. The real question is how do you define Beauty? How do you sense it and feel it?

Can you recognize real, and distinguish disguise?

If we limit our assessment of beauty to “sight”, then we’re missing most of the magic… we’re short-changing the journey

If the standard is solely superficial, the search is endless, and exhausting…

True Beauty – Prague beauty, Budapest beauty – attracts all the senses… It opens your heart and stimulates your mind as much as it taunts your body and supercharges your hormones.

And it lingers… it hangs and hovers… it soaks into your skin and fills your thoughts, even after the visual is long gone.

What we see is just the beginning… What we uncover tells the whole story.

This has been one of the hardest life lessons for me to learn. And I’m still trying to fully embrace it… and Act on it… But I understand it now. And I know that if we can elevate our explorations beyond the external, we’ll find ourselves in a very, very beautiful place.

#besomebody.

Kash $

Part 4 of a #besomebody Travel Series “30 Days Away.” Everyday is an evolution.  $

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Nine Days in Rio.

Day 16: Rio de Janeiro, Brazil.

“Nine Days in Rio” sounds like the title of a pretty sweet movie.

Kind of an “Oceans 11” meets “City of God” with a little “Hangover 2” mixed in…
Preferably starring Brad Pitt and Natalie Portman. And also that hot chick from Bridesmaids…

Nonstop action, heated sexual innuendo, and mind-blowing dialogue… a mix of passionate love affairs and mysterious interludes along the sun-soaked, “fio dental”-bikni-laced beaches of Ipanema… and a well-planned bank robbery or two…

Or, at least some disturbing the peace and public intoxication.

Nine days in Rio would be wild.

The Copacabana from my hotel room.

Of course, if you’re going there for week long meetings about laundry, the agenda may differ a just little bit… ;)

Twice a year our global, Developing Market team comes together from around the world to share results and devise our plans for further worldwide Detergent Domination. Laundry is P&G’s largest business, over $10 Billion in more than 100 countries across 5 continents… That’s a lot of soap.

We spent about 12 hours a day in a windowless room on the Copacabana, pimping powerpoints, not Portuguese…

For most people, sending a team of the company’s brightest minds to one of the most beautiful cities on earth to talk about product sales and marketing plans would be an agonizing form of Corporate torture (and I was seriously considering reporting this to HR…)

But as usual, there was some meaning behind the madness.

View of Rio and Pão de Açúcar ("Sugarloaf Mountain) from Corcovado.

Brazil is the 5th largest country in the world with about 200 million people, and has quickly become one of the largest markets for household and beauty products in the world.  It has one of the world’s fastest growing economies and is a focus area for every major company on the planet.

Rio is also the host of the 2016 Olympic Games, of which P&G is a global sponsor. So, beaches and bikini’s aside, there’s a lot of reasons for our business leaders to learn about Brazil.

Plus, the mere possibility of running into Giselle makes any trip worth taking. :)

I continue to be impressed with the focus, tenacity, and productivity of our team at these meetings. We get a lot of sh*t done!

But more than the work, I’m always amazed at how people from completely different cultures and backgrounds can come together behind common goals and a shared Purpose.

Our team includes people from literally all over the world. The Nationalities around the table read more like a UN Assembly than a corporate convention: American, Belgian, Brazilian, British, Canadian, Chinese, Egyptian, Filipino, French, German, Hungarian, Indian, Kenyan, Mexican, Moroccan, Polish, Romanian, Scottish, Swiss, Venezuelan… and Texan. ;)

When that much diversity collides at one time, the energy is unbelievable… Individual perspective meets a collective passion to connect and share, ask and answer.

When you open your mind and submit your soul to different ways of thinking, you unleash a very powerful part of yourself. You see more clearly. You watch more intently… You stop hearing, and start listening.

Everyone plays the role of both teacher, and student. Every encounter is an education… Every interaction is an awakening.….

Every day is a discovery.

And exploration becomes as much an internal journey, as an external exercise. The more we learn, the more we grow. And the more we grow, the more we seek… It becomes a constant and continuous way of life

In between and after the meetings, I experienced and explored Rio with some of the coolest people on earth:

Spent the first day with the team meeting real people… going to their homes and walking through the Brazilian favelas. Seeing how people live is the best way to understand how they think.

 

Day 2: Lunch meeting on the Copacabana with Marcin, from Poland. #besomebody.

Some of the team after enjoying carne and Caipirinha's at the churrascaria, like some true Cariocas. ;)

Had some great workouts along the Copacabana with David, from Canada. Love how Rio has exercise equipment all along the beach to encourage fitness (in between all the futbol and volleyball that’s being played).

Visited the beautiful Corcovado with some of the team on my last full day in Rio...

... then got sweaty trying to Samba later that night... ABK from Morocco and David, from Scotland, were partners-in-crime but, thankfully, not my dance partners. :)

And on my last morning in Rio, spent some quality time taking it all in… sat solo on the balcony and watched the sunrise… and listened to the ocean…

One of the most important things I’ve learned from this job is that when we embrace new people, pursuits, and points of view, the world opens up for us…

Life is a learning experience.

#besomebody.

 

Kash $

Part 3 of a Series “30 Days Away.”: Over the past 2 years I have been blessed to visit over 30 countries across 5 continents. The places were special. The experiences were amazing. The people have changed my life… and I’m truly grateful… I’ve had a few dozen requests to blog more about those people/experiences, so I’ve decided to try it as I embark on a 40+ day trek across Latin America and Europe… Thanks to everyone who suggested the series… Everyday is an evolution. #besomebody. $

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